Not too long ago, I was told that I was “handholding” a team.
I disagreed with the individual, yet I was not able to clearly articulate to the person what I was doing and the reason for it.
Yes, I was providing a lot of guidance and support, and yes, I was intricately involved in the problem solving yet there was a reason for this.
There was also much more to the dynamic that the person who made the comment to me did not see and recognize.
First, this is not my default approach.
I usually lean towards autonomy after problems are well defined and agreed to by all.
In this case, the context mattered.
First, there was a lack of trust and respect in the past before my arrival.
So, I started with building trust and respect.
I firmly asserted that I was here to help. I was on their side; I was here to share and care.
I spent a great deal of time communicating and trying to learn the strengths of each individual.
To some, this looked as if I was being “too nice” and “handholding.”
Yes, I was being very nice, what is wrong with that?
This did not mean I could not also be firm at the same time yet starting with nice made much more sense to me than bringing down the hammer.
Again, the context mattered.
There were no clear expectations yet at the same time, some expectations were identified by the top that were high priority, yet ill-conceived in my perspective.
For example, punctuality is identified as vital when everyone is working from home. How does that even make sense?
For other expected standards, no guidance was given, and few tools were shared.
In fact, there was no common set of tools used or shared by all.
The default was to find fault and blame and even punish.
Higher-ups assumed people don’t care and are lazy.
To be equitable, the intentions of the higher-ups may have been good, the strategy was not the best.
In my experience, what happens in such environments is that people do the minimum and all the work becomes transactional.
Yes, I did provide a lot of guidance and constantly shared my toolkit, yet at the same time, I put forth high standards and I showed many examples of these standards through stories.
The approach I took and the tools I presented were geared towards ensuring consistency of effort towards tangible results.
Expectations were clarified yet clear guidance was also given and creativity was encouraged.
I was not just expecting great results and walking away, I was there to support and encourage.
I was not there to punish mistakes and even failures, we learned to fail forward by tracking lessons learned.
Lessons learned became our sweet spot.
It was not about blaming a person or giving a person a pass; it was about improving for the next time, and those solutions were derived together.
The team learned to navigate all kinds of situations, not just good ones, yet difficult ones also.
This is “change thinking” in action.
We also learned not to catastrophize when things went wrong.
If 2 out of 17 initiatives did not work out, that is merely 11%. It was not that bad. The other 89% worked out well.
The previous approach was to focus on what did not work well instead of what did.
A very important element to mention is that I did not force people to do anything.
I don’t nag, I don’t lecture, I ask questions so people can think for themselves. I don’t tell people what to think or do.
The previous approach was to force and then judge when people did not do as they were told.
What was not recognized is that judgment and criticism is a form of attack and people will not only get defensive when they are attacked, they may not perform well in the long run.
We were able to move the team from being judged to having results.
When the team saw that their contributions had good results, they started to care more.
Quite simply, they became more dedicated to what they were doing because they saw value in what they were doing.
I have come to realize that at times, the result may not always be amazing yet overall, they will take care of themselves if there is trust and respect. Building long-term relationships is the key.
Going back, I should have told that person I was planting seeds, not “handholding.”
Seeds can take time to grow, yet when they do, sometimes the result can be majestic.